that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
