If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
