I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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