Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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