how can u be prego again
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
