Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize