Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
