jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
