Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize