But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
