He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
