can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
