He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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