So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My bed smells like the plague
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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