I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
