Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
