I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We need to get me chipped asap
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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