So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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