I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
