I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
His nipple licking is glorious
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