that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
