when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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