so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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