the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize