i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
