so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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