Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont even know how to be here
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
