I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
