I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Found your dick twin last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
