What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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