Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
