I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize