She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
