Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize