well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
