okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
