plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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