So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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