Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize