So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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