I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
