can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
