break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
