Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
