went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
