Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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