the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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