no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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