Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
