Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
