bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
