i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
