I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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