i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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