Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Randomize