I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
