Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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