I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
