where am i from again
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
