Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
