Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
