3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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