MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
