So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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