Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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