so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
