drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
