the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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