He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
