my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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