Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
