Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
