just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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